Part 1/2: carnaval para os sensíveis – carnival for the sensitive types

street view of main street with vendors carnival

você também já sentiu isso? (have you FELT this too?)

** para alterar o idioma, clique na bandeira ou clique para ouvir em português (BR). (to change the language, click on the flag or you can click to listen in (BR) Portuguese.)

** this isn’t a carnival recap

i won’t go into all of my background, but i need to share a few things about me before i jump into the purpose of my question. i’m going to try my best to keep it short 😅

i’ve always been drawn to the “underbelly” of society, the black market economy. many aspects of that world, mostly the people who’ve been about that life, are drawn to me. i’m wired that way energetically, but i also have a very “colorful” family history on both sides.

when i lived in florida, one of my “soothing” methods was cruising the main strip around daytona at 3am. iykyk 😅

i’m also highly intuitive. psychic/energy reader, to be precise. and i’m not saying that in some generic “oh i’m an empath…” kind of way. for many years i worked as a professional psychic, with all the clairs, and no, i don’t consider myself a medium. that’s someone different in my world of woowoo. i don’t need or use any tools like cards or anything else. and yes, i’m verifiable.

so with a bit about me out of the way…

as i’ve sat here over the last few weeks observing the prep for carnival, i started to sense certain things. my desire to not be in the middle of all of it but instead observe from my balcony grew stronger. people keep saying that since it’s my first time, i should at least go out once and experience it.

my head has also been throbbing with a lot of brain fog, and i’ve been feeling extreme exhaustion. no, i’m not sick. i haven’t had a cold or anything since 2016/17. again, iykyk.

then over the last few days, i started noticing a lot of people walking down the street early in the morning with carts. at first i wondered if a new market had opened nearby. around the same time, i also noticed people walking from the same direction carrying red coolers and chairs. many of them women, visibly struggling while hauling all of it.

a couple of days ago, i was in an uber on the main circuit and noticed a lot of tents and the same coolers lined along the street. i mentioned it to someone because i was confused, and they figured it was people coming to hold their spots for the festivities. ok, that’s reasonable.

but something in my spirit wouldn’t let it go.

so i woke up this morning and decided to go out early, which i haven’t done in months.

i headed out and walked towards ondina. during my walk, i saw even more coolers and people sleeping, not only in tents but many just laying on the sidewalk with nothing more than a blanket. i also saw couples cuddled up as if they were at home in bed.

because it was early, some were having coffee while others were relieving themselves and others brushing their teeth.

but what really caught my attention was the energy of a few different women i passed. some were dressed like everyday local women and others were very “put together.” they were waking people up and seemed to be giving directions to those already awake.

at one point i even said to myself, “i have so many questions. i don’t know what their role is, but i know a pimp when i see one.”

i sat with that for a moment. the way they moved. the way people responded to them. the authority. the familiarity. it was unmistakable.

now before anyone gets offended by the word pimp and my choice to use it in this scenario, i am using it to describe the energy. that “bawse” energy.

i continued on my walk and headed back towards the lighthouse. that’s when i saw it. i had passed it a few days ago and thought it was a temporary venue. but this morning it was open. people were lined up outside in the street while someone directed them inside, and i watched people walk out with the red coolers and something that looked like circular signs on a stick.

that’s when everything clicked. i realized what was happening.

i got home and started googling phrases like “brazil carnival vendors exploitation” and “dark side of carnival.”

and listen, my feelings were not wrong.

i messaged an american friend to share my recon and said, “i got to the bottom of what i was feeling.”

i also messaged a brasileiro friend and asked if he liked carnival. he said he didn’t. i replied, “i don’t think i like it either because… exploitation of the locals.” his reply: “that’s right.”

in part 2, i’ll discuss how this connects with why seeing unhoused people here in salvador has been hitting me even harder than it did in the u.s.

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